Apprentice Wanted App

[hystericull]

PLAYER INFORMATION
Name: Monet
Timezone: CST
Personal Journal: colorspark
Player Contact: colorspark
Characters in Game (previously too): N/A

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Name: Gamzee Makara
Canon: MSPA: Homestuck
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Suitability: N/A
Species: Troll
Canon Point: Openbound: Part 3
World/Setting: N/A
History: Here.

Personality:

The troll race had been painstakingly forged for sweeps to ensure future generations would become hardened, violent, ruthless, and vengeful beings. Where most excel with the sharpened wit, cunning, and resourcefulness needed to hold their own, is where Gamzee Makara falls flat on his ridiculously clownish face. He is infinitely more interested in planting himself on the seashore and marveling at nothing in particular, than putting his thinkpan to better use like some of his more intelligent friends. But that’s okay, because you always gotta be motherfuckin’ going at what your heart tells in you.

To put it more plainly, he differs greatly from their culture’s norm for a plethora of reasons.

Gamzee is commonly referred to as the “joke character” of Homestuck, existing only to serve the purpose of comic relief, plot progression, and not much else besides that. He is a blatant parody of human Juggalos, having a strong interest in clowns, circus equipment, Faygo, and painting his face similar to the members of the Insane Clown Posse. His speech patterns are so outrageous, and his sentences so grammatically confusing, that it sometimes takes two or three re-reads to actually understand what he’s trying to say. His dialogue is also steeped in gangster dialect, utilizing slang such as “dog”, “dope”, “peeps”, “bro”, etcetera. He has a particular affinity for the phrase “motherfucker”, and any variations thereof. He uses clown puns less often, but uses clown-nosed emoticons and “honks” to punctuate his thoughts. Gamzee will honk like a bike horn when he’s excited, when he’s scared, or basically to express any emotion. He loves to rap, which is referred to as “Alternian slam poetry” on his planet, although he tends to be pretty terrible at it. Along with being the troll equivalent of a Juggalo, Gamzee is also often likened to a hippie or pothead because of his laid-back, peaceful attitude and for his addiction to an Alternian substance called sopor slime. Sopor originates in trolls’ beds, called recuperacoons, and surrounds a troll as they sleep, ensuring that they are not plagued by horrific nightmares. It is not to be ingested, and young trolls are normally warned of the brain-damaging effects of eating sopor slime. Gamzee however, on account of a very irresponsible custodian (which I will touch on later), was never taught the dangers of taking sopor internally. He enjoys baking it into pies, which he eats on a regular basis. Such ignorance has resulted in an addiction to the substance’s hallucinogenic and sedative properties, leaving Gamzee on a constant, mind-numbing high. Because he is constantly stoned, Gamzee has a great deal of trouble paying attention, and will often space out in the middle of conversations, or get distracted by things like bright colors or flashing lights.

Gamzee is extremely lax, and spends most of his time sitting outside his beachside dwelling, waiting for his custodian to make an appearance. Trolls are raised by enormous, white beasts called lusii. A normal troll/lusus relationship would resemble a strange, familial partnership. The young troll tends to their lusus, much like an animal trainer or zookeeper would any large animal under their supervision. In turn, the lusus looks after and raises their charge, teaching it the life lessons and living habits needed to survive. Unfortunately, Gamzee’s relationship with his lusus is strained at best. Gamzee happens to be near the very top of the hemospectrum (which is the troll equivalent of an old-fashioned social class structure - one’s place at the top or bottom of the social hierarchy is determined by the color of their blood), making him what’s known as a “highblood”. The very top rungs of the hemospectrum are reserved for sea-dwellers, which are finned trolls that reside mostly underwater. Since Gamzee is the highest-blooded land-dweller on the hemospectrum, his lusus is appropriately a seagoat, who is able to survive both on land and underwater. That being said, Gamzee’s lusus chose to spend a majority of its time at sea (save for a few sparse visits), leaving Gamzee behind for most of his life. Despite all of this, Gamzee makes it a priority to sit by the water’s edge night after night, keeping an eye out and waiting for any sign of his lusus coming to check up on him. He seems unfazed by the fact that the goat rarely shows, and is always optimistic that, maybe this time, he’ll be able to catch sight of him!

This naïveté and childish optimism carries over to a lot of other parts of his personality. He is eagerly and readily available if any one of his friends has a dilemma, and will go out of his way to help resolve it - even if it means sacrificing something of his, or altering his own behavior in some way. (He once agreed to stop eating sopor and drinking Faygo just because he was asked to. It later turned out to be a miscommunication, but the sentiment is still there.) He enjoys listening to problems, and encourages friends to open up to him so he can give his two cents on the situation. Any situation. For example, in this pesterlog, Equius is having trouble trying to get a handle on his severe, and slightly disturbing, masochistic fetishes. Equius lives to be dominated and chastised by trolls higher than he on the hemospectrum, of which Gamzee fits the bill. Gamzee is one of the few highblooded trolls who don’t value their higher social rank, and hold other trolls “below” them in contempt. He says that he doesn’t “know if [he] know[s] how to be like a better motherfucker than any other motherfucker.” This creates a problem for Equius, who tries to get Gamzee to indulge his fantasies by pleading with him to adopt a harsher demeanor. Gamzee complies, but is awful at bossing Equius around. Gamzee’s awful at pretty much everything he does, but he puts his whole heart into it anyways.

His willingness to aid friends in need, coupled with his atrocity at performing anything more intellectually demanding than laying in the sand, ensures that the advice he does end up giving is sub-par, to be extremely generous. This is painfully apparent in a different conversation, this time with Eridan. Gamzee insists on trying to help him out in Karkat’s stead. Eridan is having relationship troubles, and the only advice Gamzee provides is suggesting that Eridan “just kick back and motherfuckin snap into some rude elixir and maybe get your wicked zone on.” Eridan recognizes Gamzee’s advice as useless, and the conversation quickly deteriorates.

This brings us to another point which should be mentioned: Gamzee takes criticism extremely well. If someone has a problem with him, he’ll accept it and move on. He’ll ask if there’s anything he can do to make the relationship better, and if there isn’t, he doesn’t hold it against the other person. However, he is also quite persistent, and doesn’t seem to understand that because someone has told him they don’t like him, that probably means that they don’t want to talk to him any more. He’ll keep blabbering on like nothing happened. Even though Karkat berates and grows increasingly annoyed with him, Gamzee still refers to him as his best friend, not caring whether or not that friendship is reciprocated. Blame ignorance, indifference, or both, but any and all insults directed towards him slide right off, while he keeps that lackadaisical grin plastered all over his face. Just because he’s inattentive to a fault, even going so far as to forget the title he was given in the game, doesn’t mean that he’s completely clueless. He was extremely curious about Sgrub during Hivebent, and was trying to find out more about the game in every one of his pesterlogs. He seemed genuinely excited to start playing, and his enthusiasm continued throughout their session.

His endless optimism and awful advice stem from the deep-seated faith he has in his religion. Gamzee is a part of a cult that believes wholeheartedly that, one day, a new, utopian planet will be born. Led by his laughing, clownish lords – a duo which he has dubbed his “mirthful messiahs” - everyone will live out the rest of their lives on the paradise planet in endless celebration. His religion also places heavy emphasis on the reliance on miracles to solve both major and minor conflicts. Gamzee is so enthusiastic about this, that most of his dialogue is peppered with references to miracles – waiting on them, praying for them, believing in them, etc. - much to the dismay of his conversational counterpart. He truly believes in the spiritual and miraculous properties of Faygo, and of fistfuls of glitter he calls his “special stardust”, which he throws into his face every time he prays for a miracle. Because of his devotion to miracles, and believing so fervently in the unexplainable, the only thing that really seems to upset him is when people try to explain away his beliefs. If he believes something is a miracle, he doesn’t want to be told otherwise. He doesn’t want someone to explain the inner-workings of a piece of technology, or why a bottle of Faygo hisses when you crack it open. They’re just miracles, plain and simple, and one shouldn’t try to dissect them. Rocking the foundation of his religion is one of the fastest ways to upset this otherwise docile young troll.

It is the complete annihilation of his religion that is a major factor in Gamzee’s mental breakdown.
It would be utterly deceiving to say that Gamzee is harmless, despite everything just said about his calm, peace-loving ways. Although, during Sgrub, he had preferred to split pies with his enemies instead of fighting them, he did say that he had fought at least some of them before they’d all settled down. Karkat mentions in one of his memos that Gamzee carries out one of the most powerful attacks against the Black King at the end of the game, and how unexpected an attack of that caliber was coming from Gamzee. So, we know there’s some power he has hidden away, whether or not he’s completely aware of it is another question. Regardless, he becomes fully aware of many things after Dave sends him a link to the ICP music video for “Miracles”. This makes Gamzee insanely furious, shattering everything he thought he’d believed in, leaving him distraught and directionless. Gamzee’s actions after his introduction to the video contradict everything he used to stand for, and everything he used to believe.

Gamzee did not snap solely because of the video (although it was a large contributer). He was also becoming more and more lucid as he ran out of sopor slime. He had made mention earlier in the game about how it had been “ages since [he] had a good pie.” As he neared sobriety, he was more susceptible to provocation, and his mental state was becoming more and more unstable, even if he didn’t realize it. Highbloods are known to be more violent and ruthless than other trolls, and it seemed that the sopor Gamzee would ingest kept his anger and bloodlust at bay.

After the video, Gamzee disappeared from the lab, only making contact with Karkat later to taunt and antagonize him. As Gamzee talked with Karkat, he explained how he’d come to realize that he himself was actually the gods that he had worshipped previously. Both of the mirthful messiahs, he said, were inside of him, and it was his duty to kill everyone left on the meteor.

Gamzee is worlds apart from himself when sober. He becomes a manipulative, homicidal monster that enjoys toying with his victims before finally offing them. He seems to become very intelligent, even managing to turn Terezi’s steadfast investigation on its head so she wouldn’t pin the murders of Nepeta and Equius on him (which he was entirely responsible for). He instead tampered with the evidence and used his newfound powers (to be explained!) to lead Terezi to believe that Vriska was to blame for the murders of their friends, and even for the murder of Gamzee himself. He is extremely delusional for believing that he is not one, but two omnipotent entities, hell-bent on destroying everyone he deems unworthy. While sober, the mirthful messiahs manifest themselves in the way Gamzee speaks, having him calmly speak one sentence, then maniacally scream the next. He takes the blood caste system very seriously in his insanity, ordering Equius to kneel before him. When Equius hesitates, Gamzee shoots an arrow into his leg, forcing him down on his knee. Gamzee gets ridiculously overpowered in this state, which I’ll describe in more depth in the next section. It is widely disputed whether or not Gamzee’s sober or high personas are his “true” self, whether or not eating the sopor calms him down enough so he can be who he really wants to be, and not the ravenous killer his blood makes him. Since entering a moirallegiance with Karkat, Gamzee’s rage seems to have been quelled. He’s definitely not the same troll he was in the beginning of Hivebent, but his murderous rampage has come to a screeching halt.

After being on the meteor for a while, Gamzee has taken to hiding in the air ducts to escape the ever-vigilant eye of Kanaya, who is intent on killing him the first chance she gets. His time there is spent in isolation, watching from the darkness, dotting their trip with silent, sporadic shenanigans.

Abilities/Weaknesses:

Gamzee’s strife specibus is Clubkind, meaning he wields a pair of juggling clubs to fight. He’s surprisingly deft for being so inattentive, and is able to hold his own in a fight. Upon entering the game, he was given the title “Bard of Rage,” which no one took seriously. As stated earlier, during the final boss fight with the Black King, Gamzee’s might have been the most powerful attack executed during the entire fight (save for possibly Vriska’s, which was the final hit).

After going sober, Gamzee’s strife specibus changes to Jokerkind, which allows him to utilize any weapon he chooses, using his specibus like a wildcard. As of now, it is not clear what the rules or parameters (if any) are in place for Jokerkind, or how weapons can find their way into the specibus. This fighting style is extremely dangerous and unpredictable, allowing Gamzee to be proficient in multiple weapon types at once.

A recently discovered ability of Gamzee’s are his “chucklevoodoos”. Chucklevoodoos are a dark, manipulative psychic power, making it possible for Gamzee to search the mind of his target, and to manipulate their fears by placing objects in their subconscious. He can then use their newly implanted fear against them in reality. He had apparently used this power to deflect Terezi’s murder accusations from himself to Vriska. He also used the chucklevoodoos to plant Lil Cal in Dave’s dream room, and the harlequin doll in John’s, setting off a chain of events and subsequently getting the ball rolling for Jack Noir’s uprising.

Also worthy of mentioning: Gamzee is one half of the worst rapping duo in all of paradox space.

Lacking guidance in most of his childhood, Gamzee is atrocious at what would be considered pretty common life skills. His hygiene is poor, he’s messy, he doesn’t know right from wrong, and he has/had a powerful addiction to sopor slime. While high, Gamzee frightens and startles easily. This can be a huge hindrance for a variety of reasons, but it didn’t serve as the cause for any major problems for him so far, aside from a few low-key humorous instances. He also has a very, very hard time focusing. He’ll space out for long periods of time, even if he’s in the middle of a conversation, and will have to be snapped back into reality. He loses track of time, and forgets what he’s doing constantly. While sober, Gamzee lets his anger get the best of him, and destruction is all he can focus on. It takes a lot to get him to calm down, and he’s usually done a lot of damage before then. He also has a frightening habit of putting people on a pedestal, to the point where it becomes obsessive. If he believes someone truly worthy of his adoration, he will do everything in his power to serve them. Currently in canon, he’s doing the bidding of the Big Bad because he believes him to be the god of his religion (though that is up for debate now, since things have surfaced that may point to him having been mind-controlled for an indefinite chunk of the story.)

Despite being terrible at a lot of things, Gamzee is not completely useless. It is also shown in canon that he is pretty decent at working technology, able to use the internet, a chat client, install a game and set up a connection with a partner. Also, he bakes his sopor pies himself. Not much is said about his methods or if his baking skills are anything to write home about, but he’d have to have some knowledge of the craft to churn out a bunch of decent pies. Gamzee is also a very willing ear – he’s constantly concerned with the well-being of his comrades, and, as mentioned before, will go to great lengths to listen to their problems and offer what assistance he can, even if it isn’t very sound. Gamzee can also juggle! His weapon of choice is a pair of juggling clubs, and he’s seen twirling and juggling them in canon as he fights. In the same scene, he’s flipping from one platform to the next, so it would be safe to assume that he’s pretty nimble.

RP Samples:

Here and:

Gamzee paused tentatively in the middle of his respiteblock, surveying the damage he’d just created. Or, he would be surveying the damage he’d just created, if he weren’t so consumed by trying to remember how it all had gotten this messy to begin with. Those wicked clown brothers had been torn from the wall, now resting on the ground in a heap of tattered paper. He eyed them guiltily. Better get to be at putting those motherfuckers back on the wall proper, sometime soon-like. …How’d they get down there on the floor, anyway? Oh well, no point in trying to make much sense of it all now, anyway! As chill as it was standing in the middle of the room here, staring blithely at nothing at all, a brother’s got to get his moving-on on sooner or later!

Sidling up to a table in the middle of the room, he excitedly snatched up a tin of disgusting green slime that had been cooling there. The tin was still a bit too warm as it slid deftly across his thin palms, but he didn’t care. The time for standing had come to an end, and the time for downing this piping-hot mucilage was jumping all too quickly at its heels! In a tangle of limbs, the boy dropped to the floor. He spun his possibly-radioactive confection around playfully, making it dance across the pads of his fingers until he’d lost himself in the motions and the slime began to spill over the sides of its container.

A splat of slime to the cheek had snapped him out of his pie-twirling daze. He lapped at it lazily with his tongue, then rolled on to his belly to enjoy that shit the way it all was meant to be enjoyed. Propping himself up on bony elbows elicited a yelp of pain, which sounded awkwardly similar to a child’s bike horn after being squeezed too hard. Oh. Ohhhhhhh. The bruises were back on his elbows.

His one-wheel device must have given out from under him again. For how many times it had happened already, you’d think he would have learned. It certainly explained the demolition of his respiteblock, and painted quite an amusing picture of Gamzee trying, in vain, to use the posters to break his fall. That must have been what happened, he mused, chuckling happily to himself.

No matter. Elbows weren’t needed to get this slime down the hatch! And neither were utensils, apparently! He stuck a few fingers into the treat, scooping out a hefty dose and shoving half of his hand straight into his mouth. Ahhh motherfuck, such good shit! Slowly, slowly, lights burned brighter, colors swam together, and the throbbing pain in his elbows drifted down his arms until it slid out the ends of his fingers and dissipated.

Oh. Now would be a good time to shoot the wicked shit with some choice motherfucking bros! Chew a little of that metaphorical fuckin’ hoofbeastgristle! Yeah! A smile broke across his painted lips, exposing long, sopor-stained fangs. Yeah, friends were the fucking shit. Those motherfuckers were all right, for sure…

He lay there for a long time afterwards, drifting in and out of lucidity, the thought of grabbing his husktop to chat with his friends long since forgotten.